Law...& Order?

Who else watched the season/series Finale of Law & Order last night?  (Can you believe they actually canceled it?  I feel like we must be approaching the apocalypse or something.)

Anyway, the episode was called "Rubber Room,"and does, in fact go to those infamous "bad teacher"zoos.  It goes through teachers' nightmares, as well as the nightmares of the parents who entrust their children to those teachers.  We teachers.

The real villain in the story was the system--administrations afraid of being sued, unions standing in the way of justice, and a system that makes teachers choose between their honor and their paycheck.

The actual "villain" is a teacher, a blog-writing teacher no less, who sinks into a dangerous depression after being humiliated in front of a classroom of ninth graders and being falsely accused of child molestation, which of course lands him in a rubber room.

The victims in the tragedy are unclear.  The kids?  The teachers?  The society that has no idea what's going on?

I just see one more example that no one gets the whole story, and people who aren't in the classroom have trouble telling truth from fiction.

A little bit of everything

I ain't got no organization today, friends.  Sorry.

New favorite student anecdote, care of a student "struggling with behavioral norms":

Student enters colleague-friend's classroom.  He knows the student via previous year's communications.  The young person points to the room across the hall and hollers to my friend, "I'M GOING TO S*** ON THAT F***ING SUB!"

My friend, knowing that coming down on the child for swearing is only going to make her freak out on him super-angry-style but obviously needing to address the behavior, responds, without missing a beat, "[Insert student's name here], that's GROSS."

Friends, I can understand being f***ing angry.  I can even understand calling the sub crummy by using a four-letter word.  However, I have never, in my life, ever considered defecating on someone in anger (or in any other mood, for that matter).  Where on earth did the child even come in contact with this idea?  This is one time that I am glad I have NO idea where a kid is coming from.  It sounds like they're getting her some help, and my fingers are crossed that it works quickly.

In other hard to believe or understand areas,  GLEE tonight:

• Is anyone else disturbed by a teacher in a tighty-tee singing "Busta Move" to the children...
• not to mention the actual move-busting with the children?
  
• The mandatory reporter in me is already dialing Family Services. 
• Where are the teachers in the hallways during all this slushy-throwing?
  

Today I presented to a small group of colleagues about a new web tool we are using.  Somehow, I have never been able to get used to what awful listeners teachers are in a group setting.  I don't think I've ever been to a meeting with colleagues where people aren't whispering throughout.
Teachers are just like kids when they are the students.  Allow me to set the scene:

We're in the computer lab.  I'm at the SMARTBoard showing how it works and checking in with individuals as they complete the steps and get set up. In the session, I have

• the boys in the back who aren't really listening to instructions,
• the girl who is still stuck on step 1 when the rest of the group is finishing step 2,
• the girl who finished the entire task in the first ten minutes and spends the remaining time checking email, then stays late because she's confused,
• the boy who cracks jokes and distracts me,
• the girl who wants my undivided attention the whole time,
• the kid who decides she'll just see me after school and so wanders and bounces around,
• the student who calls my name over and over after being asked to wait while I finish with someone else,
• and the one who races ahead, thinking she's hot stuff, until she messes up on something I haven't explained yet and wants me to fix it for her while everyone else waits.

Next time: Peer Editing & Being an Artist

Language Barrier?

I love kids. I love it when they say ridiculous things. I love it when they don't realize they are acting like complete goofballs. I love it when we act like complete goofballs together. I love it when they leave my class and act like goofballs to other people because of what we discussed in class. I love hearing about kids being complete goofballs in other classes, whether I have met the kid or not.

Exhibit A:

• Today we were discussing prepositional phrases in Honors English 10. This leads to if you answer the phone like this: "Who do you want to talk to?," how should you ask if, say, a college recruiter is calling? and what's the problem with saying "Do you want to come with?" This leads to a discussion of dialect, which leads to a discussion on code-switching: Why do Minnesotans measure distance in minutes? What do you call a carbonated, flavored beverage like Pepsi? Where do you keep clean dishes? How do you pronounce "root"? "Bag"? Do you talk to me in the same manner you talk to your friends? Of course, it also includes my most striking example of dialect (in German): In High German, when you ask where someone is, you say "Verstehen Sie?" but in Swabisch, a Southern dialect, you would say "Verstosch?" This leads to a little birdwalk into German pronunciation. The kids think German sounds a little harsh, I say English does too, English is a Germanic language, etc., etc., including not ever saying "ick" when you are pronouncing the German word "ich."
• Fast-forward to after school. Delightful-bouncy-girl-with-lots-of-stress-at-home, who was in my class last year, pops in and says, "Were you teaching people how to say 'I love you' in German today?" We talked about pronouncing "ich liebe dich," yes. "Well, Nice-smart-hardworking-boy-who-is-in-your-class-now came up to me and said 'ich liebe dich,' and it was pretty weird."

Exhibit B:

• When a student asked what my plans were this weekend, I said I plan on sleeping in. The Danish exchange student in the class looked concerned. "You will do what this weekend?" Sleep in. "And what means this?" To sleep later than usual. "Oh, okay...in Denmark, this means to die. When someone sleeps in, they have died in the night."

Exhibit C:

• A friend of mine teaches ELL, and the kids have work time for other classwork at the end of each hour. Our new French exchange student, who doesn't speak English well enough to take American Lit right now, is currently in my friend's class. When they wrapped up their daily lesson, the exchange student went up to stare at the map of the US. When my friend redirected him to his homework, the student pointed at the map and said, "Ze map." You need to sit down and work on your homework. "I learn." No, you don't. You're just staring. Take your seat. "Ze map!" Sit down please. "Ze cities!" Find your seat please. "Ze map!"

It's the goofiness of days like today that keep me smiling when my fourth hour hoots for two straight minutes.

Who am I kidding?

They were hooting because I started it.