If I didn't love them, I might have to kill them all.

Some tastes for today:

"Ms. MIKD, can I see you during lunch about my grade?" asks one of my honors rats.

Sure, sweetie.  I will be in the teachers' lounge.  Knock on the door and I will come out.
 ...
"What is my grade right now?"

You've got an A-minus at 94%; you're just kissing the break to a full A.

"Is that with today's presentation in there?"

Yep.

"Oh, okay.  Because I had a B, and I don't get Bs.  What did I get on the presentation?"

With the extra credit for being a recorder last week, 103 out of 100 points.

"Awesome."

Nice job, sweetheart.

"I was so worried.  I don't get Bs."

Honey, a B in this class is something to be proud of.  You've got to settle down.

"I know.  But I've never gotten below an A-minus on a paper, and then in this class I was getting B-minuses and I just didn't understand why.  But then I finally looked at the comments and stuff on turnitin.com and it made sense."

I'm glad it made sense.  I'll see you in a little bit.

Okay, friends,  what about this is making me insane?



In my last class of the day (the class in which 1/4 of the students are apathetic, 1/4 are coming from reading intervention rather than English class last year, 1/4 are receiving SpEd services, and 1/4 are receiving ELL services) yesterday, a student (who is so lazy and willing to settle for a C that I would like to shake him until his teeth fall out, and I'm pretty sure he only wants the C so he doesn't have his truck taken away) asked me why he got a D on his most recent daily work packet.

"I answered all the questions," says Lazy-butt.

With the bare minimum.  Your job is to show me what you know.  This doesn't show much.


"So?  I answered all the questions."

These aren't even full thoughts.  

"I didn't know we had to use full sentences."

You always have to use full sentences.  It's been that way all year.

[Insert disdainful snort from Lazy-butt here.]

Today, I had the kids writing down a list of characters from The Piano Lesson; the kids will be watching Our Town (which we read before the break), and then making comparisons between the characters in The Piano Lesson and characters, situations, or ideas from Our Town.

One of the dolls, who is just as cute as a button but is also a complete and total space cadet, hollers, "Is this all we're doing today?"  BTW, he has a lisp, which makes it all the harder not to just burst out laughing when he says something off the wall.

With my trademark quick wit [read: exhausted irritation], I said, Yep, we're just going to sit and stare at that list all day today.

Lazy-butt lifts his head off the desk.  "Really?  Awesome!"

No, of course not really!  That's not my job.

"But it could be."

No, it could not.

"It could be."

No.

Oh, of course there's continued ridiculousness of children who don't care about passing, though their parents do.

My email this afternoon, following an email requesting that I confirm her child's absence yesterday:

Hi Mrs. Parent,

[Your Student] was absent again today.  In order to have a chance to pass English this term, he will need to rewrite his most recent essay and turn in the assignments he is missing.

Have a nice evening,

MIKD

This came at 6pm:

Ms. MIKD,

Thank you for the update with [my student's grades], and attendance. After speaking to [my child] I think he may feel like he had no chance of passing your class and that is why he skipped the last couple of days. I gave him this information and told him he should do like you said redo the last essay, and turn in any missing assignments (he is unsure what a couple of them are). I would like to come in with [my child] and go over some of his scores with you, and maybe you could better explain why he is getting the grades he is.

Thank you for your time in advance.

Mrs. Parent

 Oh, and BTW, the term ends tomorrow.

ARGH.  ARGH.  ARGH.