Oh, and by the way...

Today a friend mentioned that I've maintained radio silence for almost a month after posting almost every day last month.  While I was proud of that accomplishment, I also felt like I was spinning my wheels in negativity (yesterday's post, anyone?), and the world and my life do just fine without me wallowing in that feeling.

Anywho, I'm calling in with a bit of an update on the speech season.  Today the kids pretty much got their asses handed to them, but it wasn't all bad.  A few times the kids today talked about being a family, which is totally what we are about as coaches, and what we want for our team.  The kids also got to see what their competition will be when it comes time for sections in a few weeks.  Additionally, I wasn't judging, and I got a ton of grading done in the tab room with the Mozart for the Mind blasting on my iPod.

The season has really been going well.  Our babies have been placing regularly, and my babies in particular have been rocking the house.  I LURV IT.

SO, what's the deal?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my job in specific and the job in general.  I'm pulling back from "involvement," mostly because I don't feel like I can make a difference.  Why live with the frustration and extra work, when I don't see any good coming of it?  Most recently, I was also pushed out of one of my remaining "public" responsibilities in favor of the leadership clique at my school.  The whole thing is making me feel like it's all pointless.

I thought that stepping up was part of the point of teaching--making things better.  I'm frustrated that all it seems to do is make my life worse.

Weekend Update

Especially at the beginning of the term, I like to do weekend recaps with the kids on Mondays.  It's kind of an easy way to start the week, and we all get to know each other better.  Super cool today was that there was at least one speecher in each class, so I could recognize them without it being totally awkward.  Not only that, but there was a kid who was on stage in every hour.  BOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAA!

Feelings, nothing more than feelings

Once in awhile, a student does or says something that just flat-out hurts my feelings. Like this:

The primary concern is that most of my friends have consistently told me how terrible and brutally hard this class was. ..... My other only concern is how my friends who have had you previously haven’t liked you.

This, in a student's introduction letter.  After two days of class in which I assure the kids that yes, my class is hard (what would be the purpose of lying to them?  I think some of my tendency to sugar-coat is what kept kids who didn't feel like doing the work from switching out last quarter), but that I will do my best to help them succeed if they put the work in.

After reading that essay last night, I nearly cried.  Then I felt stupid for letting it get to me.  I finally got to talk to my friend-friend after school today, and she was totally getting how I felt.  And she told me she would have cried, which made me feel less stupid.  All this following some mean-spirited vandalism on the last day of second quarter is making me blue.